if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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