Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
