I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
