playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
