all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
