So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
