i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
