I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
