smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
