On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
there is glitter all over my balls
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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