you would pick up someone in the library
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
