why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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