He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
