I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
