I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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