Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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