New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
