totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
nutella sex= disaster
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
