I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
