This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
