Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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