Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize