How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
