You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
