Please, let me fuck your mom
thus making me awesome and them whores
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
