can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
