How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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