can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
