I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
