No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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