dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
