Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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