Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize