you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
