this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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