she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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