Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
