Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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