Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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