she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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