I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
third nipple confirmed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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