you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
