I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
