...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
