If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
