I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
