dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
