we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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