Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
