Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
