i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Of course I have a pirate flag
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
