So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I could make wine with my vomit
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
