I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
