Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
