Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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