Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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