i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Two words: nipple clamps
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