Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
