i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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