my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
