do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
