After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
well, you know. whores of a feather.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
