I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
