just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
