when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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