Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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