I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
