does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
